In a dream my dad fell

from the top of a steep       white       mountain

down       into a blue       crevasse
like the space between       two waves
where the light       shines through       just enough
to tell you
you will miss this life dearly.

The falling took years.

I could hear him moving through air       and then finally nothing.

In another dream       my dad was an angel

his see-through body dangling in the air

floating above me       face shimmery like tinfoil

and I cried and cried when he told me

I can't come back to earth now       not ever.

When my dad told me

You will always be my daughter

maybe it was like that.

Will I be allowed to come back to earth

and be your son?